It started during pregnancy and intensified as the arrival date of our son got closer.
I heard comments from family to strangers. It was like people couldn’t help themselves. I wish I would’ve kept a list of the things people told me and shared without me asking or even seeming interested.
At best, when people shared their opinions, I learned some neat facts but most of the time I sighed internally because the advice wasn’t anything I needed at the time which is why I wasn’t asking for it.
It was exhausting, during a time when I was already exhausted. I don’t know who was worse: the men, or the women. 🤦🏾♀️
Sometimes even now I will distance myself from discussing certain things going on in my life because I feel capable of handling the situation and do not want unsolicited advice especially when the advice is coming from someone who I have witnessed handle similar life decisions poorly.
I looked up unsolicited advice to capture some opinions from others on the subject. It helped me realize, I’m not the only target. So, I’m going to leave these links here in case you want to forward them to a well meaning person who won’t get out of your business. 😆😑😬🙃
For a long time, I didn’t realize I was shrinking my life.
Nothing was obviously wrong. I was functioning. Showing up. Doing what I was supposed to do. From the outside, everything looked fine.
But underneath that, I was playing smaller than I needed to.
I was quiet in moments where I had something to say. I hesitated to go after opportunities that felt just slightly out of reach. I told myself I needed more time, more clarity, more confidence.
And for a while, that felt reasonable.
But eventually, I had to be honest with myself: Nothing external was actually stopping me.
I was choosing what felt safe.
I was choosing not to be fully seen. Not to take the risk. Not to test what I was actually capable of.
And the hardest part is—shrinking doesn’t always feel like fear. Sometimes it feels like responsibility. Like patience. Like “being realistic.”
It sounds like:
“Now isn’t the right time.”
“I just need to get a little more prepared.”
“I’ll do it later.”
But “later” can stretch longer than we realize.
At some point, I started noticing the pattern.
I wasn’t stuck—I was hesitating. I wasn’t unready—I was uncertain. And instead of moving through that uncertainty, I was letting it make my decisions for me.
So I’ve been asking myself a different question lately:
Am I about to shrink, or am I about to expand?
And the answer isn’t always comfortable.
Because choosing to expand means:
speaking when it would be easier to stay quiet
showing up before I feel fully ready
going after things I might not get
But it also means I get to find out what’s actually possible for me.
I don’t think shrinking is something we choose once; I think it’s something we choose over and over again, quietly, in small moments.
And tllll he same is true for expansion.
So right now, I’m practicing choosing differently. Not perfectly. Not all at once. But intentionally.
Because I don’t want to look up one day and realize I built a life that only reflects what felt safe.
I want a life that reflects what I was willing to grow into. 🌱
Dreams rarely arrive all at once. Most of the time, they begin quietly—inside small moments that seem too ordinary to matter. A child performing in a living room. A parent choosing encouragement over criticism. A community gathering and sharing stories over a hot meal to start the new year.
While reading Higher by Big Sean, I kept coming back to this truth: the life we dream about is often built from moments that feel small while we’re living them.
Those small moments are the seeds 🌱. If we water them with belief, support, and persistence, they can grow into something extraordinary.
The First Audience Matters
One story that stuck with me was when Big Sean talked about performing for his mom for the very first time.
If you’ve ever had the privilege of experiencing a kid’s first performance, you know you could witness anything. Kids do the absolute most sometimes. Saying anything and singing anything. Moving, however, they feel in the moment. I can only imagine what that looked like.
What mattered wasn’t the performance; what mattered was the response. Obviously, his mom, chose support and watered that little seed of creativity.
That’s how art grows. That’s how confidence grows. That’s how dreams grow. 🌱
While reading that part of the book, I couldn’t help thinking about my own son. I want to be the kind of parent who waters the seed. Science tells us that strong emotional support helps protect our kids as they grow and discover who they are.
But beyond science, it just feels right.
Encouragement is powerful.
“Dreams don’t arrive fully formed. They begin as tiny seeds, watered by encouragement and belief.”
The Toddler Sprint Through Life
Another moment in the book made me laugh because it felt way too familiar.
Big Sean talks about his son Noah making a sudden, quick move—one of those full-speed toddler decisions—and ending up bumping his head. Then immediately expressing frustration at the injustice of it all.
If you know, you know.
My son has just entered this stage of life. Everything is fast. Everything is urgent. Everything must happen right now.
Running full speed toward a goal without quite realizing the obstacles along the way.
And as parents, we see the mistake before it happens. We see the collision coming.
And sometimes our inner voice just goes: What are you doing?!
But that’s part of learning. That’s part of growth.
Even the bumps.
“Encouragement is powerful. One supportive moment can water a creative seed that grows for a lifetime.”
A Reminder to Stay Inspired
One of the themes that runs throughout Higher is the importance of finding inspiration everywhere.
That idea hit me recently at a community outreach meeting my tribe hosts.
The gathering was beautiful—community, fellowship, connection. The kind of moment that reminds you why these spaces matter.
In traditional Chickasaw fashion, when we gather at the beginning of the year, we start strong. The meal was hot, buffet-style, and the servers included Chickasaw employees who not only hosted the event but worked the room—helping people connect with resources, answering questions, making sure everyone felt welcome.
The meal alone felt like an act of care: Spring mix or caesar salad, green beans, chicken piccata, brisket, mashed potatoes, brownies and chunky chocolate pecan cookies 🍪.
It was one of those meals where you could take a quick picture, but you don’t. Sometimes it’s important to just stay in the moment.
Moments like that remind me how powerful and important community is.
And in that moment, I thought about something Big Sean urges us to do in his book: Find inspiration – seek it out!
Because growth doesn’t always feel dramatic. Sometimes it feels slow. Quiet even.
But if you keep going, keep searching for your inspiration, you’ll find it, possibility in the most unexpected space.
When that happens, hopefully you will realize something incredible: You’re no longer dreaming about the life you want.
You’re living it.
“Growth rarely feels dramatic in the moment. But one day you look up and realize—you’re already living the dream.”
Rooted Reflection
As I finished reading Higher, I kept thinking about how dreams rarely look glamorous while they’re growing.
They look like encouragement in a living room. They look like toddlers learning the hard way. They look like community meals where people gather simply to be together.
Those moments may feel small, but they carry something powerful. They carry possibility. The And if we stay open to inspiration—if we keep watering the seeds placed in front of us—we may one day look around and realize something beautiful:
The life we once dreamed about has quietly taken root.
Happy dreaming tonight.
Nova.Skye 🌙
Author Bio
Nova.Skye is a writer for Rooted Skies, where reflections on motherhood, intuition, creativity, and community meet. Her writing explores the quiet courage it takes to trust yourself, take risks as we grow older, and nurture the dreams that take root in everyday life. Through storytelling and reflection, she invites readers to slow down, notice the small moments, and remember that growth often begins in the most ordinary places.
After finishing my meal of BBQ chicken wings and hibachi rice, I was trying to clear my mind. I recognized that hunger had kept me in darkness, affecting my mood. Having been on mom duty since 8, I felt tense and hangry.
Sunset are my time to reflect and disconnect. I enjoy gazing at the delightful skies filled with orange, pink, indigo, and blue hues. Mother Nature is an artist 👩🏽🎨, and she shows us her talent every day.
The sunsets remind you that another day is reaching a close. It’s time to reflect on the great things that happened in your day and on how you want to show up the next day.
Sunsets offer me opportunities to be grateful for the small moments of kindness that came my way through the day.
Today, before I decided to stop dragging my feet and get this blog post out – because imposter syndrome tends to hold me back — as I prepare to edit this post, winter storm Fern is approaching. Tonight, I didn’t see the charming sunsets I’ve grown used to. Nevertheless, I was still present for the sunset. My family was here with me. I was able to enjoy another day and night in my happy home. I can’t feel bad about that for too long.
I’m sure I’ll see another sunset that I am accustomed to, and I will be so grateful to see it.
We often take Mother Nature for granted. Next time you get to experience a sunset or the beauty that Mother Nature still offers us despite how we treat her, say thank you, and mean it.
My son just smacked his head into the side of his crib while sleeping. I heard it on the monitor.
I took a deep sigh because I knew he was going to cry. I braced myself for it. Prepared to grab my robe and rock him back to sleep.
I watched in shock as he shook it off, got himself stable, and lay back down to sleep.
I realize now I was tense in that moment because I desperately wanted to lie down. I was relieved that he was okay and that he was going back to sleep. But that tension was still in me.
It made me consider how many times a day I am tensing up. No wonder my body feels wrecked!
This snapshot is just one small moment when I was tense. How many times am I tensing up? How can you release this tension? What impacts does this have on my body?
So many questions!
At this phase of my motherhood journey, I’m leaning into understanding myself more holistically.
Motherhood has forced me to shift many of my priorities and to accept help from my community. I’ve held more space for change and vulnerability than intended.
In other words, I, the introverted, responsible, independent person, have felt the weight of being a first-time parent.
It’s scary, fun, terrifying, adventurous, curious, wild, and fantastic. It’s a dream come true. It’s a lot of different emotions, all while still trying to become yourself again or at least figure out who you are now that your entire life has shifted.
But that’s just me. That’s what I’m feeling right now. Some can relate, and others may have a completely different feeling.
Rooted Skies 